Business Etiquette

Being polite isn't just for sissies?it'll help you in business, too.

Business//Etiquette

words by > Margot Carmichael Lester

Good Etiquette Is Good Business

*Don’t underestimate the value of courtesy in the workplace. Here’s a gentle reminder.

As grandmother used to say, “You’ll get more flies with honey than vinegar.” It’s quaint, but even in today’s high-tech world, it still holds true. With toxic bosses in vogue and self-absorption at a new high, common courtesy is anything but common. “I have encountered numerous business people who believe that success is their ticket to bad manners,” laments Neil Resnick, executive vice president and managing director of transaction services for Grubb & Ellis in Los Angeles. “Being successful doesn’t mean you have to lose your etiquette. Th e valet parking attendant should be given the same respect as the chairman of the board.”

Business Indicators

Jim Weinstein is a life consultant in Beverly Hills and Washington, DC. “I believe we subliminally associate good manners with other old-fashioned traits like honesty and integrity,” he explains. “So someone exhibiting good manners would be seen, all other things being equal, as being more honest and having greater personal integrity.”

Good manners convey other positive traits, such as respect, altruism and discipline. “A display of manners is a sacrifice of what one might prefer to do in certain situations in order to follow prescriptions of behavior,” Weinstein says. “It’s easier to trust people with good manners.”

Adds Peggy Post, author of Th e Etiquette Advantage in Business and great-grandaughter-in-law of etiquette guru Emily Post, “People judge us by actions and appearance and words, so how you look, speak and act really translates into how you’re viewed in business.”

Good Return on Investment

Just ask Raleigh, NC-based entrepreneur Peyton Anderson. Th e week before a start-up he cofounded went public, a local man called wanting to invest. “I told him no, but was polite, thanked him for his interest and spent ten minutes on the phone with him,” Anderson recalls.

Years later, the caller again encountered Anderson, who was raising money for his latest venture, Affinergy, Inc., a developer of site-specific delivery mechanisms for drugs, peptides, proteins or cells.

“He had a vivid memory of that call,” Anderson says. “He was impressed that I would be polite and courteous to a complete stranger when we were on the verge of becoming multi-millionaires. Th at was one of the major reasons he invested—he thought I knew how to handle highs and lows and was a trustworthy steward of his money.”

Bottom Line Impact

Almost 60 percent of customers say they’d shop elsewhere and pay more to avoid rude sales and service people, according to a survey by Columbia, SC-based Eticon, an etiquette consulting firm. Likewise, about one-quarter of employees toiling in rude or uncivil workplaces intentionally cut back on their production, and one in eight quits, found a study from the University of Southern California.

“Business partners and individual customers as well as employees no longer have a problem exiting a relationship with a business when they are treated with disrespect,” notes Heather Gatley, executive vice president of human resource services and legal council at AlphaStaff Group, Inc., a Fort Lauderdale-based human resource outsourcing company.

Solid Strategy

As your grandmother would tell you, manners matter most because you reap what you sow. Carol Vecchio, cofounder and executive director of Seattle’s Centerpoint Institute for Life and Career Renewal, puts it more eloquently: “Most people don’t lose their jobs because they are incapable of doing the work. Th ey lose them because they weren’t able to fit in. And no one I know ever passed along business to someone who is lacking in the manners area.”

Post adds, “Don’t just brush etiquette off as a sissy topic. Manners bring positives that help you get ahead.”

Our experts say:

Empathy > “Being able to put yourself in someone else’s shoes—whether it’s a co-worker, boss, subordinate or client— is the core of etiquette.” – Peggy Post

Respect > “No matter how much you might disagree with someone’s opinion, you can still give them the respect and dignity they deserve.” – Carol Vecchio

Courtesy > “We have all hired someone who was less qualified on paper, simply because they presented so professionally and powerfully.” – Heather Gatley

Gratitude > “People appreciate people who are appreciative.” – Neil Resnick

Sincerity > “People are busy and they see through insincere praise and indirect help.” – Peyton Anderson