Love Boat

With over 169 miles of waterways, Fort Lauderdale is poetically known as the "Venice of America," so it's no surprise that so many choose a romantic gondola ride along the city's scenic canals to drop onto a wobbly knee and pop the question. One gondoliere — who has seen both earth-moving, romantic successes and at least one heart-sinking, pitiful failure — shares his top tips for romance.

First things first: There's no need to be nervous when you pop the question in Ft. Lauderdale. "The answer is always yes!" gondoliere Pierre Meunier exclaims. And he would know, estimating that he's witnessed at least 100 proposals a year in his five years of pushing people through the city's extensive canal system on his 36-foot, authentic Italian gondola. "You can't be unromantic on a gondola," he claims, explaining that these are the symbol for love in Italy.

Well, maybe some people can. He remembers a girl saying no once, the whole proposal escalating into an alcohol-fueled fight. But he reassuringly muses that "they probably woke up the next morning and apologized to each other."

Captain Pierre — who's been happily married for 31 years — knows a thing or two about love, having picked up a lot of dos and don'ts ferrying couples on tours of the mega mansions along "Billionaire's Row" or, more accurately, on elaborately planned proposal ploys. The Frenchman claims to be the calmest person around — and he needs to be to provide reassurance for fidgety proposers. Almost all of them — even those who are usually cooler than cucumbers — get twisted when they hit the dock. "They're afraid of the 'no,'" says the unlikely wingman. His tip? "Have a little champagne or wine and relax, don't rush." Another trick the self-proclaimed romantic has up his sleeve is that waiting for the right moment is key. He explains that the best time to ask is when it's quiet — midway through a sunset cruise and away from docks and traffic.

However, he also has a few don'ts he'd like future proposers to adhere to. For instance, avoid going all Shakespeare on the girl. When it comes to the 'I love you' spiel, he advises being yourself and speaking from the heart. "Don't prepare a long speech — you won't remember it all and it won't come out right. Keep it short," Pierre says. Also, if you're thinking about being funny to lighten up the mood, don't. "We had one joker who pretended to lose the ring overboard. The girl almost fainted," Pierre laughs. "It was just an empty box — he brought out the real one and she recovered. And she even said yes."

Men trying to pimp the popping (because a 36-foot gondola doesn't scream romance loudly enough), can even arrange food, drinks, a waiter or a musician. Pierre and his mate keep a low profile throughout the ride, except to cue the Italian music that wafts in the background. Music is a must, the captain insists — and only Italian love songs. "I don't sing," he chuckles. "You don't want that! We play Andrea Bocelli, the best Italian love songs in the world. He's all you need."

Maybe it's the music, or maybe it's the stunning sunset that does the trick, as the most popular proposal tour cruises straight into the setting sun.

Even if you're nervous like a pimply teenager on a first date, romance on the river will have even the most hapless man (or even you, Don Juan) speaking the language of love like a native.

Las Olas Gondola offers a number of one-hour canal tours and can customize a tour for any occasion. The gondola holds four people and leaves from the Riverwalk in downtown Ft. Lauderdale. Tours cost from $150 to $225. Las Olas Gondola; 800.277.1390; www.lasolasgondola.com